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| What's going on at the moment in your Blokesworld .... |
| THE ALL NEW BLOKESWORLD MUSIC SHOW |
Move over Molly it's the Blokesworld Music Show! Let Ado be your DJ and tune into Foxtel/Austar
Aurora Ch 183
Mondays 9.00 pm
Tuesdays 8.00 am
Tuesdays 4.30 pm
Fridays 11.30 pm
Sunday 1.30pm |
| BLOKESWORLD "SPIN THE GLOBE" SERIES 2 NOW SHOWING... |
Will the Blokesworld team's exciting international adventures ever end? The gang have just been all over the U.S.A. visiting such legendary locations as Hollywood, Vegas and Cancun. You can check out all the action on Foxtel/Austar Aurora Ch 183
Tuesdays 9.30 pm
Thursdays 8.00 am
Thursdays 4.30 pm
Saturday 11.30 pm
Sunday 1.00pm!
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| NEW BLOKESWORLD SERIES "Spin the Globe" |
Yes - we're back!. Blokesworld has just returned from hitting the Road once again - this time with an international feel. Stops include Barcelona, Valencia, Ibiza, Amsterdam, Belgium and Tokyo, with too many highlights to mention.
You can catch all the action on Aurora (Foxtel/Austar Ch 183) on Tuesday Nights 9.30 pm and Friday nites at Midnight.
Member's Bar patrons will get an eyeful of special features from our global travels soon! Also keep an eye out for the new Blokeworld video Podcast coming soon.
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27/02/06
Tips for Aussie Shielas from the USA
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Tips from police
This is a good reminder for all of us. You can never read this too many times!!
1. Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their cheque book or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put
a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A Few Notes About Getting Into Your Car In a Parking Lot, or Parking Garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat (and check out under the car as you approach).
B.) If you're parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY (and better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ,
RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked
"for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do,
DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a
baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they heard baby cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
Please pass this on! and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby. This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.
Please forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
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01/02/06
2006 Amtra High Country Ride |
The Australian Motorcycle Trail Riders Association (AMTRA) proudly supported by Motor Cycle Trader Magazine, announces the upcoming 6th Annual High Country Ride. This years’ event will run on Sat 22 and Sun 23 April 2006, with an optional ride on Monday 24 April.
Held in the Buffalo Valley area, the ride offers some of the best high country terrain, flowing open tracks and beautiful scenery in Victoria. Based at the club’s property at Abbeyard (south of Myrtleford), everything is supplied for a great weekend. Each rider receives a sponsors gift pack (including a ride t-shirt), and 3 months membership to AMTRA. Meals are catered and all you need bring is your camping gear, bike, riding-gear, a sense of humour and a spirit of adventure.
The event is a navigational ride, open to licensed riders on registered motorcycles and the ride conditions allow for a fun and exciting time for all participants from beginners to experts. While riding the mapped course, you are supported by volunteers from the club who man checkpoints, support first aid and provide a 4WD recovery backup.
Many sponsors have provided prizes to be awarded at the presentation – tyres, riding gear, aluminium products and accessories could be yours just for doing the ride.
For further information, check out www.amtra.com.au or email AMTRA at amtravic@hotmail.com.
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01/02/06
BLOKESWORLD PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT |
The source where I got this from is quite reliable...
The latest scam which happened to me at Roselands Mall.
Two good looking 18 year old women with wet T-shirts approach while you're still in the car.
One starts wiping your windshield with a Squigee, the other comes to your window saying 'Hi' while bending over with her breasts almost coming out of her blouse, impossible not to look.
When you offer $2 for the screen-clean they say no and ask for a ride to another Shopping Centre. You agree and tell them to sit in the back.
On the way they start having Lezbo sex in the back seat. Then one of them jumps to the front seat & starts to perform oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I was robbed last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday, but I couldn't find them Saturday or Sunday.
Be careful.
Blokesworld viewer |
13/01/06
ALL TIME BEST CRICKET SLEDGES |
1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes):
"Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit"
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:
During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards
During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."
7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh
MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan
"So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."
10. An English county cricketer bowling to Viv Richards in a County game.
Viv had played and missed several balls in a row,. The bowler told Viv "It's red and it's round". The following delivery Viv smashed not just over the fence, but out of the ground." You know what it looks like mon" said Viv, "..you go f**king find it!"
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim.
Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicket keeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
12. Ravi Shastri v/s the Aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want to slander anyone)
Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease I'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times.
Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
14. Fred Trueman bowling.
The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied
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13/01/06
BLONDE'S YEAR IN REVIEW |
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels ... Helllloooo!!! ... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got really excited ... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ... box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid ... wrong instructions ... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing ... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition ... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm ... car swamped because soft-top was open..
September - The capital of California is "C" ... isn't it???
October - Hate M &M's ... they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!
December - Couldn't call 911 ... "duh" ... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
What a year!!
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11/01/06
ANDY CALDECOTT 1964-2006
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Australia is mourning the tragic loss of our countries greatest ever rally rider, Andy Caldecott, who suffered a fatal crash on the 9th stage of the Dakar Rally, the toughest rally in the world.
The four-time Australian Safari winner from Keith in South Australia was participating in his third Dakar Rally following an invitation to represent Spain's KTM-Repsol Team.
Caldecott first competed in the Dakar in 2004, retiring in 6th position after courageously finishing stage seven with a broken ankle. In 2005 Caldecott returned to Dakar showing the world he was a rider to be reckoned with after taking two stage wins at Smara and Kayes, finally realising his dream in reaching the beaches of Dakar, finishing the rally 6th outright.
Caldecott was a late entry for the 2006 Dakar after receiving a call up two weeks prior to the beginning of the event. Caldecott still showed he is a true champion, winning stage three on January 2 at Er Rachidia, as he clocked the fastest time of 3h21'11" on the 314km special.
Tragedy struck Caldecott on stage nine of Dakar, after placing as high as 4th overall in the standings. Race officials have confirmed Caldecott was on a fast section yet not exceeding the speed limit of 160kph; his accident was merely the punishing landscape taking control.
Caldecott's passion was motorcycle riding. He first rode a bike at the tender age of 8 years old and started competing at the age of 10, winning numerous junior motocross state and national titles.
By 15 years old Caldecott was South Australian Junior Motocross Champion and spent the next ten years of his racing career winning state motocross titles and competing in the famous Mr Motocross Titles. He then hung up his racing boots for as long as seven years, until his passion was rekindled in the form of vintage motocross, where he went on to win 17 National Vintage Motocross Championships and two World Vintage Motocross Championships.
By 1999, Caldecott had taken an interest in long distance rally riding, entering his first Australian Safari. In his first meeting Caldecott was leading the Australian Safari but was forced to retire early due to injury. Returning to the Australian Safari in the year 2000, Caldecott won the event outright and followed through with consecutive wins in 2001, 2002 and 2003. The year 2002 also saw Caldecott win the 35 years class at the classic Finke Desert Race in Alice Springs.
Recognised as Australia's biggest name in safari rally events, Caldecott's reputation soon spread overseas and by 2003, he received invitations to ride in the Rally Optic in Tunisia placing 4th, the Rally Orpi in Morocco placing 7th and the UAE Desert Challenge in Dubai placing 6th. These results placed Caldecott equal 3rd in the 2003 World Cross Country Rally Championship.
It was in 2004 that Caldecott's dream came true to ride in the world's toughest rally - Dakar. His passion for riding combined with his reputation for a cool mind and grace on a motorcycle saw him return to Dakar until it tragically took his life. Never a risk taker and always a smart rider, Caldecott's passing in the 2006 Dakar is a tragic loss.
While motorcycle racing was his passion, Caldecott's greatest love of all was his immediate family, his supportive wife Tracey and beautiful daughter Caitlin.
All who knew Andy Caldecott loved him. A great Australian rally legend that will be sadly missed by the motorcycle fraternity, his wife Tracey and daughter Caitlin, as we mourn in the loss of a heroic man.
KTM send their love and thoughts to the Caldecott family and request the industry and media respect the Caldecott family's wishes to be left in peace to mourn the loss of husband, father, son, brother and friend.
Rest in Peace Andy, our memories will never fade mate.
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